Is Fear Holding You Back?

Are you happy with your life?
No, I mean REALLY happy.
Are you living the lifestyle you want to live?
Are you doing the things you want to do?
Do you have someone to love and who loves you back equally?
Do you feel that your life is taking you to the places where you want to go?
Are you inspired, motivated and looking forward to life?

Sadly, if you’re like most people, the answer to these questions will be ‘No’, with a very rare few of you able to answer ‘yes’ across the board.

One question.

What are you doing about it?

For most people the honest truth is that day-in, day-out they actually do very little to improve the quality of their lives in any real way.

Sure, they may whine, moan and complain about how unfair it all is but when it all boils down you’ll find that very little ever gets done to change things for the better.

Why not?

Why is it that the very things that could make us happy beyond our wildest dreams are rarely, if ever, attempted?

What holds us back?

In a word; FEAR.

Most of us never realise, or wouldn’t admit it if we did, that the ultimate barrier to the realisation of our goals is fear.

Now, I’m not talking about abject terror here, we’re rarely that scared of our barriers, but simple, low-level, background negativity that reduces our confidence, lowers our self esteem and persuades us that we’re not up to the task, that we’re not good enough. In other words, fear can be described as:

Forever Expecting Awful Results

The result of having fear ever present in our lives is that we simply stop trying.

We give in and settle for less than we’re capable of so that we can avoid the pain of confronting our fears, yet in the long run, living below our potential causes us pain anyhow.

We become increasingly frustrated at our lack of progress in the important areas of our lives and fall into a vicious cycle of wanting more and yet being too afraid to try.

This situation reflects the lives of countless millions of people around the world who go through lives of quiet desperation thinking ‘is this all there is?’ and yet the answers to all of their dreams and desires are in front of them all the time.

They only have to look in the right way.

One way to determine how to make your life the work of art you desire is to model people who are already successful in their own lives.

These people normally exhibit very similar qualities and attributes that if emulated create a blueprint that those of us willing to put forth a little effort can use to create similar results for ourselves.

Extensive study of success literature written in the last century has revealed that every person who has made a success of one or more areas of their lives has done so by following certain laws or rules that those who are less successful have not.

These are:

Rule 1: No-one can do it but you.

Reality check.

There are no knights in shining armour, no winning lottery tickets, no inheritance money and no ‘unknown benefactors’ who are going to suddenly appear and make your life perfect.

As much as we all like to believe in fantasies and miracle cures, the real truth is that these occurrences are so few and far between that they will affect less than 1 % of us during our lifetimes. Yet how many people do you know who are living for the day ‘when I win the lottery’?

The reality is that you could die waiting for the ‘happy ever after’ if you rely on chance or blind luck. The sooner you realise that it is you and only you who can make your life better the sooner you’ll start to see success.

Rule 2: Stop making excuses.

We all have our own personal lists of ‘if onlys’ and ‘buts’ don’t we? You know the sort of things I’m talking about ‘If only I had more money I’d have a better life but I don’t so I’ll have to make do’ or ‘I’d love to be/do/have but...’

For most of us that are living beneath our potential it becomes crucially important that we recognise these words for what they are … Excuses.

Excuses are the ultimate in self-sabotaging behaviour and as long as you use them you’ll be sure to fail in absolutely any endeavour that you are attempting.

In fact, excuses are so powerful in holding you back that I suggest removing the words ‘if only’ and ‘but’ from your vocabulary permanently. Seriously, try it for 21 days. Don’t allow yourself the luxury of justification, rationalisation or any other form of passing on your own responsibility to others. Whenever you catch yourself doing so, reset the clock and start over. Your goal is to achieve 21 days of excuse free living.

You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll get done in this time!

Rule 3: Your beliefs become your reality.

The old saying ‘if you can conceive it you can achieve’ it is only partly correct.

Only with belief can something become a reality.

If you believe you can achieve something then you’re right.

If you believe that you can’t then you’re also right.
It’s that simple.

You see, beliefs are kind of like a software programme that’s continuously running in the background in the subconscious part of our minds where it receives its commands from our conscious mind.

Whether we believe that we’re beautiful or ugly, successful or unsuccessful happy or unhappy our subconscious minds will actively seek out evidence to support these beliefs by filtering in or out the relevant information to make them true…to us. This is why we must be ever vigilant about what we choose to believe about ourselves and the potential our lives hold for us.

Rule 4: Select your inner circle

There is a saying that in the next five years of your life the only things that will change will be the people you mix with and the books you read.

This is a way of saying that our lives are heavily influenced by those that we allow to penetrate our barriers or inner circle.

Indeed, our self image and hence our self esteem and beliefs have been formed as a direct result of every relationship that we’ve had since birth.

Every word of support, comfort and love serve to build a positive image of who we are and our value or self-worth whilst every criticism, put-down, snipe or negative comment will lower the value we place on ourselves.

For this reason it’s vitally important that we carefully select those that we allow into our inner circle.

If your friends, family or work colleagues are persistently negative about you specifically or life in general then do your best to limit your contact with them and associate instead with those who make you feel more positive about yourself and your abilities.

Who do you allow into your circle?

Rule 5: Get out of your comfort zone.

Successful people are those that are ever looking forward toward a better, brighter future. They choose goals that challenge and test them and stretch them to new limits in order that they can grow and prosper.

Compare this way of thinking to most people and you’ll see that the opposite is usually true. Instead of rising to meet a challenge most people take the path of least resistance by staying with what they’re comfortable with.

Unfortunately, success is rarely if ever found in your comfort zone. Simply put, if you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.

If you’re happy and successful then great but if you’re not then your comfort zone becomes your prison, yet it’s one of your own making and you can leave at any time.

What have you always wanted to do but never gotten around to doing?

Rule 6: Take action

Though the first 5 rules are clearly important they are impotent and powerless unless the last ingredient is added…Action!

You see, it takes more than just inspiration and motivation to be happy and successful. It also takes perspiration and hard work. This may not be what you want to hear yet nonetheless it’s true just the same.

Those who have made successes of their lives have been willing to pay the price whether that be monetary cost, time, study or physical sacrifice. They have taken consistent actions over time that have led the results that they desired. Nothing more, nothing less.

What specific actions could you take on a regular basis that could contribute to YOUR success?

As simple as it may sound that’s really all there is to achieving the successes you desire. I know you’re thinking that this is too simplistic to be true yet look at those who you consider successful. Without exception they will be following these rules to greater and lesser degrees.

If they can achieve their dreams with this formula, why not you?

The dreams you keep within your heart can each one day come true,
The keys and locks that bind them are held only by you.

(Dax Moy The MAGIC Hundred)